Your idea of happiness may be standing on top of a hilltop singing 'The Hills are Alive' with gusto and a small group of bemused children in ascending height. For others, it may be an ice-cold coke and an obscenely large slice of chocolate cake. So how do we know what really makes us happy?
Many expend a great deal of energy seeking this state like a golden ticket, tirelessly turning over the same boulders in our path for a glimpse of sparkle. But the problem is, well, it's the problem! We often deal with present difficulties using old solutions which haven't worked and probably never will.
We are like broken records, playing the same old tune instead of looking at what else we have in our emotional cd cabinet (or itunes playlist). Meanwhile the elephant in the room sits in your favourite chair, munching on your wellbeing like a packet of Walkers.
So how do we get on the right track? Developing a level of self awareness is the first step. Think about negative cycles in your life which keep repeating and ask why! Gestalt theory proposes that we are all trying to complete certain cycles - or Gestalts - which have been interrupted along the way.
Like a ring with a break in it, we try to 'close the gaps' with whatever material we have. So we take a situation (eg., development of self esteem interrupted by an aloof mother) and try to close the gap with the knowledge we have (my mother did not love me - I must be unloveable!). This becomes a belief, or introjection which dictates how we live in later life eg., seek out abusive/aloof partners, so we may endlessly circle our issues trying different ways to be loved.
This is where speaking to a Therapist can help. Becoming aware of these patterns and finding out what makes us unhappy, may bring us a little step closer to being happier. Think about what conclusions you have come to which keep these negative patterns going, and have the courage to test their validity. Changing the record to your life can offer a whole new interpretation of who you are. But if it's The Sound of Music you hear, it really is time for a new playlist :)